june nash misadventures – Page 4

We’re finally unpacking some of our zillion and one boxes, many from two or three moves ago, and I found this photo. On the back it reads, Christmas, 1971. Melissa with her new shoe bag. Is it me or it that a odd gift for a child? I look happy but I’ve always been easily amused. What’s the weirdest gift you’ve ever gotten and how old were you?

Snake shoes!

Today’s my birthday so I’m slacking off. These are a present from my oldest. She based the design on the cover of my book, How to Sex Your Snake!

Have a great day!

Write on,

Melissa

April 4, 2017

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The Ruins of Ephesus

How did it get to be April? I’ve been away the last few weeks, helping a senior relative move. Biggest tip I can offer, take photos of bookshelves (that house nicknacks) before you pack and then label each box for each bookshelf and include a map of where that piece of furniture sat in its particular room. You’ll get a lot of, where the stuff from that bookshelf that was behind my desk. There was a bookshelf behind your desk? is never the correct answer.

Since it’s mid-week -ish I’ll leave the Key West memories (and new book word count) to Sundays and instead share photos from one of my favorite trips.

Kadefikale on Hillside above Izmir — A view of Izmir, Turkey

Back in 2007, my husband was stationed with NATO in Izmir, Turkey. I was psyched when he got the assignment. Back in college, I’d planned on majoring in history. I’m one of those annoying people read all the notes on museum displays and block most of the exhibit. If I’d taken the time, in college, to see what classes I needed to get that particular degree I would have. (I’m not a big planner. So, after a fun 5.5 years and tons of lovely intersession classes (best way to get an A) I settled for a b.a. in social science with concentrations in History, Geography and something else. Maybe archeology) So let me stress again. I was psyched. Whoo-hoo. Turkey. The divider between Europe and Asia. So much history. So many ruins. So much to keep me busy during his one year tour. And then came the sad news. The US military did not let families accompany the service member to Turkey. Spoil sports. (The US was the only country with this rule as of 2007)

Now I was left with what amounted to a short vacation. And I had to chose wisely. We didn’t have a lot of money, the air fare alone ate up most of my budget, and we’d be leaving two high school aged kids home alone. I’ve seen enough movies to know nothing good ever comes from that.

After many anguishing hours pouring over city guide at the Waldenbooks down the street, I had a plan. A few days in Rome, a few days wandering the Kemerati bazaar in Turkey and because multiple days in Greece were impossible, an afternoon at an appropriate substitute. The ancient Greek city of Ephesus.

at Library of Celsus 2 — The Celsus Library. All the good scrolls were checked out.

on Cerastes street near Hercules Gate — That’s the library in the distance. We beat the crowds. For the first hour anyway.

directions to the brothel-sm — And directions to the brothel.

at public latrine — Still nothing to read. Plus a super cold breeze from below. (hence my posture)

entrance to the Great Amphitheater — The entrance to the theater.

DSCN0465 — Excavations were in progress.

lion_floor — I flipped the photo so you could see the mosaic lion. He’s on the floor.

We saw at least a dozen cats as we wandered this field.

The Domitian temple. First temple built in the name of an Emperor.

entrance to Odeon — I still miss that antelope jacket. Which I bought in the Kemeralti bazaar. So comfortable. So soft. So well made. So tempting. Someone stole it from the back of my chair in Las Vegas a couple of years later.

An angel suggesting we hit the road. The crowds had arrived.

And speaking of the Kemeralti bazaar, I’ll save that for another mid week post. Such an amazing place. Think Diagon Alley in Harry Potter. You step in – you’re in another world. A labyrinth of stalls stuffed into every last bit of space, with enough twists and turns to lose all but the veteran shopper. In the meantime, I’ll be back on Sunday with more Key West memories.

Oh, and when I got home from my trip to Turkey, there were no cracks in the egg. Nice to know my kids are so well behaved. A tad disappointed to learn that my kids are so well behaved. Here’s hoping they had a crazy adventure too.

Write on,

Melissa

P.S. this is making me itchy to travel again. Have you got a favorite spot? Leave me a suggestion in the comments.

March 12, 2017

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The Big Swim

Waiting for Godot…err Diana

me waiting for diana small — Waiting….patiently…

It’s Sunday. Time for this week’s book update. Since my latest novel, a sequel to How to Sex Your Snake , takes place in Key West, and I’ve been immersed in research, I thought it would be fun to include some memories from my time on the island. Last week, we looked back at one of my favorite watering holes, the Bull and Whistle bar, which features 3 distinctive bars and with some iffy nudity. This week, we’re outside, looking at some actual water. But first, the update.

How to Square Your Grouper – A June Nash Misventure, Book 2

Premise: Following an embarrassing blunder, June heads down to Key West to hide out and accidentally becomes a drug runner.

captn eddie small — Captain Eddy rallies the troops

Genre – Adventure
New words this week –1239 (plus a few pages of handwritten notes)
Total word Count – 13,543
Release date: Summer 2017

Goals last week: continuing my research, tightening up my outline

What I did: Mainly research. I spend the week reading up on the Coast Guard and some other things that will spoil the book if I mention them. The more I read, the less I feel like I know. I’m currently looking for someone who was actually in the Coast Guard. So, if that was you, drop me a note in the comments. Outlining – I realized I had two different outlines for the book. So, I’ve been combining both into a notebook. That’s my preferred method. I can take paper and pencil more places that I can take my computer.

Goals for next week: finish up my outline sometime during the week. I’d like to start the actual writing around the 20th. (I’ve got a few pages here and there but it’s mostly in outline form) I’m still living in a delusional state thinking I will be able to hand the book to my editor around tax day. We’ll see.

This weeks trip down memory lane:

diana close to shore 2 small — I spy with my little eye…

See the boats on the right? Diana Nyad is somewhere in the middle, about to finish her world record Cuba to Key West Swim. Mark and I happened to be biking down the southern side of the island, probably headed to Caroline’s for a cuban sandwich, when we noticed the news crews and the swarm of people on the beach. Mark checked the internet and Diana was still a few hours away, so we did our lunch thing, wandered Duval a bit and then headed back to Smathers. By this point, it was close enough that we decided to lock up the bikes and find a good spot. We lucked into a roped off section and ended up against the barrier. When Diana came ashore, we’d have a ringside seat as she emerged from the Atlantic Ocean.

And then, of course, life happened. Later, Ms. Nyad said that as she was approaching Key West, she wasn’t sure where she was supposed to land so she just picked a spot. Which wasn’t anywhere close to where everyone was standing. Chaos ensued and people raced to be first to her new landing spot. Mark and I were separated and I quickly gave up. There was no way I was going to get close up to the action. I texted my husband, took my sandals off and headed for the sidewalk and our bikes. And got stuck in another crowd. I pulled out my phone to text Mark again and realized, almost too late, that Diana was on a stretcher being wheeled to an ambulance by EMTs. I hit video on my cell phone and held it up just as they went past. If you’re interested, you can read more about her historic record here.

That’s it for this week. Next Sunday, we’ll reminisce about men dressed in tiny shorts pushing a bed up the street. Believe it or not, it has absolutely nothing yet absolutely everything to do with the time the tiny island of Key West succeeded from the United States.

Until then, keep your head above water, don’t drink too much rum, and Write on,

Melissa

March 5, 2017

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Key West Quickie

The Rum is for Research

The rooftop patio is clothing optional. And no, you really don’t want to partake.

Last week, I was reading a blog post from one of my favorite tv writers, Ken Levine, and he talked about a director friend who wanted to make his next movie in Hawaii. Didn’t care what the movie was. He just wanted a few months in paradise. I totally get that. Why immerse yourself in something that doesn’t tickle your fancy?

That’s why I decided to set my next book, a sequel to How to Sex Your Snake, in one of my favorite places on Earth. The spot where I hung my hat from ’12 – ’14.

You can’t go home again…

Screw that. Sure you can.

For two years, the tiny island of Key West was home and I spent my days pedaling from sandy shore to quaint cafe to rowdy bar. Mornings strolling the stretch of surf on Smathers Beach, afternoons parked at a corner table in Sippin Cafe hammering out How to Sex Your Snake, evenings meeting up with my husband and/or friends for half priced happy hour munchies and booze.

What better place for June’s next MisAdventure?

While I know the island fairly well, there are always things I will need to double check for accuracy. Rather than spend all my time surfing the internet, I thought it would be a lot more fun to get my research the old fashioned way. In person.

Two weeks ago, I was down, taking some preliminary notes and photographing spots where all sorts of delightfully horrible things would happen to poor June. As I continue to work my outline, more questions will spring up and I will probably head back down in about six weeks seeking answers. And a bit of rum. And maybe a morning of drag queen bingo.

As I continue to research and write the new book, I’ll post updates each Sunday, just like I did for How to Sex Your Snake. This time, though, since my setting is Key West, I’ll include favorite memories from my time on the island. Think rum, rebellion, ribs, sexy men pushing beds down the street, and eager tourists getting their drink on and letting their hair down. Fill out that little form in the upper right corner to follow along.

Onto this weeks update:

How to Square Your Grouper – A June Nash Misventure, Book 2

Premise: Following an embarrassing blunder, June heads down to Key West to hide out and accidentally becomes a drug runner.

Genre – Adventure
New this week – 0
Total Count – 12, 304
Release date: Summer 2017

Goals for the week: Continue my research and outline. Right now it’s all about the planning. The tighter my outline, the faster I’ll write the actual book.

This weeks trip down memory lane: See that photo at the top? That’s the Bull and Whistle Bar. It’s a three story establishment and a hopping spot for drunken sing alongs on the first floor, aka The Bull. Get there early. Most nights you’ll find a singer/s covering hits from the good old days along with original offerings. The bartenders are friendly, the featured performers get the crowds roaring along and you’re bound to make a friend or two. When your voice gives up, climb the stairs to the second floor , aka The Whistle, for a game of pool and a quiet drink while you watch the madness of Duval Street from a safe spot on the balcony. And when you’ve gotten your second wind, head to the stairs one more time and climb all the way up to the Garden of Eden, a clothing optional rooftop oasis. And while that may sound titillating, beware. For every beautifully firm co-ed grooving topless on the dance floor there are two pasty old naked guys sitting on towels at the bar. Unless that’s your thing. Then by all means, indulge.

And what about me? Did I ever find myself grooving in the garden? Sort of. We got a lot of company while we lived in Key West and visitors always wanted the full experience. And while my dancing never involved nakiditity I was known to sneak a peak or two at those who did.

That’s it for this week’s update.

Keep your clothes handy and Write On,

Melissa

February 3, 2017February 3, 2017

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My fake sugar addiction

Addicted to that white powder

Back in November, I was scrolling through one of my social media newsfeed and I clicked on an article, which I can’t find anymore, that detailed how artificial sweeteners break down in your system and – get this – encourage your body to store fat. Can I just say, damn. I’m a tea drinker. I start my day with tea. I drink tea while I write. I have a cup in the evening while I watch tv. I drink a lot of tea. And I liked my tea sweet and creamy, so I was using 4 packets of fake sugar plus a big splash of creamer in each cup. I’d often drink 5 or 6 during the first couple of hours of a writing session. I was consuming 20 – 24 packets per day at least 5 days a week. In November I was trying to make a deadline so I was writing 7 days a week and pummeling my body with up to 168 packets per week. And I’d been doing this for years. That’s an obscene amount of artificial sweetener.

As soon as I read that article I contacted my daughter the chemist, to ask her about the article’s science. “Yeah, I saw something about that.” …and….? “We’ll chemistry related stuff that I don’t quite understand that went on for a while.…” followed by, “you understand?” No, not really, but I’ll trust you.

Getting rid of the evidence

After that horrifying conversation, I dug around in my pantry and chucked my stockpile of fake sugar packets in the trash. And the boxes in the recycle bin, of course. And now I was faced with a harsh reality. What the heck was I going to do? I hadn’t drunk unadulterated tea in thirty years. Except for that time the Denny’s waitress brought the fake sugar with my bill. I was tempted to leave her tip in one of the empty packets. As a former waitress, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

The first morning after the purge, I made a cup of tea sans natural. Yuck. Determined to make it work, I headed to the grocery store and bought a variety of herbal teas with strange names that guaranteed to temper my twitchy demeanor and keep my butt in my swivel chair for a typical eight hour writing day. All the experiment did was piss me off as I thought about how much money and time I’d wasted.

A new devil…

Then I thought, okay, I’ll just switch to real sugar. I happened to be up in Orlando hitting some roller coasters and stopped by the Coca Cola store for one of their sugar shakers. For about a week, I used real sugar in my tea. I was happy. And in my own way, medicated. Then I read another article on one of my social media timelines. Why, do I do this?

According to the article, I really need to learn to bookmark, a woman is only supposed to consume six teaspoons of sugar a day. Bad things happen when you go over that mark. At the moment, I can’t remember any of the bad things, but according to the article, there were many.

So. I was back to square one.

And then, I stopped into the book store to browse the isles and caught sight of a tin of

cinnamon tea. OMfreakingG, this stuff was amazing. Especially if you steeped it with two bags. Very spice, lots of flavor. No sugar. No cream. No nothing extra. Quite a bit of caffeine though. Especially made my way, with two to three bags. But yes, they do have decaf and yes, they have loose leaf. (And no shipping costs for ground at the moment) I bought a tin. And then another.

And then another.

And guess what happened? Besides my new hobby of collecting empty tea tins. Thanks to my boycott of fake sugar, I lost four pounds. Almost immediately. I also lost my sweet tooth. This week, about two and a half months into the switch, I’m almost down another pound. My clothes fit better. I feel better. My checkbook is speaking to me again. (I was about to up to the next size in shorts)

Now my life is sunshine and puppy dogs. Well, not completely. My next makeover involves sleep. Or the lack there of. Perhaps my insomnia is linked to my caffeine intake. Hmmmmmm.

Are you a tea drinker? Have you got a favorite flavor to recommend?

Drink lots of tea and Write On,

Melissa

January 25, 2017January 26, 2017

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Preorders begin for my novel

I’m happy to announce…

Well if you read the title, you already know. The kindle version of my first novel, How to Sex Your Snake, is now available to preorder on Amazon for just $2.99. Yay! It will be automatically delivered to your mailbox on February 14, 2017. (I’ll add buy buttons for ibook, Nook, Kobo, paperback and audio as they become available) If you haven’t already, you can read the first chapter here.

Valentine’s Day has special meaning to me. It’s not just that candy and flowers holiday. It’s also my dad’s birthday. This year, he would have been 88. After he retired, he had a nice little second career as a writer, so going live on his birthday is my way of feeling just a bit closer to him this year.

I’m hard at work on the sequel to How to Sex Your Snake. If you’d like to know when it’s ready, you can join the Book Announcement List:

← Back

Thank you for your response. ✨

Thanks for sticking with me as this first book took shape. I’ve had many goals since I started. Most I didn’t keep. But – I’ve learned so much and now I feel like I know what I need to do to get this next one finished in a reasonable amount of time. Right now, I’m shooting for sometime around my birthday in late April. For now, grab a copy of How to Sex Your Snake. I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks. Stay warm and Write On,

Melissa

January 12, 2017January 12, 2017

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So my neighbor is an alligator

We’re finally settled in our new house and I recently discovered that one of my neighbors is an alligator. My husband named him Bill. Not just because that’s a cool name for an alligator, but because of Godzilla and my son.

Two Hippo Bellies — Hippos that have nothing to do with the story. Hubby photographed them at Disneyworld.

It’s Christmas time, our youngest is 5 or 6. He and my husband are wandering the isles at the toy store when they get to action figures. And there’s Godzilla. My husband points to him and says, “you know, his first name is Bill” my son, who knows what a joker his father is merely rolls his eyes and gives up an, “oh, dad.” And that’s where it would have ended. If not for the lady browsing nearby. She sets down the doll she was looking at, wanders over and says, “hey, it’s Bill Godzilla.” She picks up one of the action figures and starts talking about what a down to earth guy Bill is, being a movie star and all.

It makes it all the better when strangers play along.

And what does that have to do with my alligator? Nothing really. But, my hubby likes to remember that afternoon and then text our son and tease him about Bill Godzilla. A lot of things we encounter get named Bill.

Mr. Grasshopper ain't scared of Bill — Mr. Grasshopper ain’t scared of Bill

Which brings us back to Bill the Alligator. Yeah, Bill’s a little guy, maybe 4, 4 and a half feet long. And yeah, he lives in a drainage canal that looks sorta deep and steep. But still. He’s 3 houses away and alligators can climb freakin’ fences. So fuuuuuuuuuck. A little hill won’t be a hindrance if he’s ever truly motivated to wander.

Pete's Dragon ain't scared neither — Pete’s Dragon ain’t scared neither

Which got me thinking. What exactly would motivate an alligator to wander down to my house and knock on my door?

There’s a pretty decent food supply in the canal. Lots of turtles share the space and there’s always a shorebird wandering the edges of the murky water. The only thing I can figure he’s lacking is a wife.

Thankfully, Bill won’t be looking for love for a while.

According to the Florida Fish and Wildlife page, males reach sexual maturity at seven feet, female gators at six. Since it takes 8-12 years to reach that size, (shorter for males, longer for females) and since he’s only about half way there, Bill probably won’t be on tinder for quite a while.

How’s your neighborhood? Any similar hazards?

Stay safe and Write On,

Melissa

December 20, 2016December 20, 2016

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Prepping for Print

Good news for everyone who keeps asking!

The manuscript for How to Sex Your Snake (my new book) passed inspection from the herpetologist (reptile expert) and heads next to the actor doing the audio version. She’s got the perfect, I’m really not happy to be here voice for this project so if you prefer audio books, you won’t be disappointed. (e-book, paperback, and large print will be available too)

I’ve told you that the book is done, right? It’s been a crazy couple of months with our move from the snowy northern woods of Wisconsin to the glorious treasure coast of Florida. Sadly, many of those weeks were internet free. A nice idea when you’re overwhelmed but an impossible way to survive reality.

Today, my editor is visiting and we’ll be looking at book size and fonts for the print version. (Amazon on demand) I spent enough time as a literary agent to know that unless you’re already famous, it’s better to cut out the middle man and go indie.

When can I buy it?

Well…we’re still waiting on formatting and the cover for the paperback. Once those things get a bit more settled, I’ll be able to announce a release date. If you’re not already on the mailing list, you can sign up here.

For now, enjoy the approaching holidays and Write On,

Melissa

November 28, 2016November 28, 2016

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Avengers to the Rescue

With so much sadness and despair in the news recently, I thought it was the perfect time to call in a few heroes. Please welcome David Vick, my first guest blogger. David, a marital artist, choreographer and teacher, is part of the group, Arizona Avengers. Members use cosplay (dressing up as favorite film, novel or video game characters) to bring smiles to kids in need at events like the SuperHero Age of Empowerment: Superhero Shopping Spree

Today, David talks a little bit about what brought him into the world of superheroes.

Avengers Assemble!

****

Icons and Representation: An Arizona Avenger’s Journey

Comic books were never a big thing for me when I was younger. They loomed in the background occasionally rearing up here and there in various ways, from animation to companion books with toys. I never sought them outright. Then, in the summer of 2005, my brother got me a ticket to San Diego Comic Con and I got a nerd reset!

Ten years later, I took the plunge into costuming as a hobby when working at a daycare center in a resort and having to craft things for and with the kids. And when my friend Jessy, who I knew through my martial art of Capoeira, needed a costume buddy to pair with her comic version of black widow, I had to say yes. It was a great excuse to bleach my hair!

Representation Matters

When I read issue 19 of Fraction’s Hawkeye, I saw a perfect representation of the isolation I have felt most of my adult life thanks to my hearing issues. (Hawkeye becomes deaf in a 4 issue miniseries in 1983 and in the modern comic version uses hearing aides) It struck me in a way I didn’t expect and not only made me appreciate Clint Barton as a character, but the creators of that issue who touched on a sensitive subject with such a high level of respect and skill.

To finally see someone dealing with an issue similar to mine was a profound experience about how comic books can affect perceptions of others and of the self in a positive way. One of my favorite moments in cosplaying was signing with a deaf person as the character Hawkeye.

Right now, I cosplay many different Marvel characters, but Hawkeye will always be my favorite. It was the first costume I put together. I have Matt Fraction, David Aja, and Matt Hollingsworth to thank for that. This is what led me to the second motivation in life.

Altruism and Iconography

For a hobby to stick with me, there has to be some element of altruism involved. Otherwise, I feel somewhat selfish; I’ve learned to give in order to get.

Have you ever seen the face of a person, young or young at heart, see a character they held to a high regard in their own lives in person?

It’s a mesmerizingly splendid experience, to bring that sense of wonder and happiness to a person, especially if they’re in a condition when they need it the most. Volunteering with the Arizona Avengers and becoming an officer for the organization has been rewarding on a very deep level.

Those nurses and doctors put up a good fight

Doing our best to make these people happy for charity is all the payment I need. They’ve kept me motivated to do my best, and now I have 18 or so characters thanks to help from others in the costuming community. I didn’t do everything by myself.

It can be a challenging hobby, but it has been a rewarding one so far. Who knew all these good things could happen when I was able to embrace my inner nerd?

***

Thanks David!

If you are in the Southern Arizona area, and need the Arizona Avengers at your next charity event, you can get in touch with David here.

In the meantime, don’t let your cape get caught in any airplane engines and Write On,

Melissa

Tag: june nash misadventures

What’s the weirdest gift you’ve gotten?

Snake shoes!

The Ruins of Ephesus

The Big Swim

Waiting for Godot…err Diana

How to Square Your Grouper – A June Nash Misventure, Book 2

This weeks trip down memory lane:

Key West Quickie

The Rum is for Research

You can’t go home again…

My fake sugar addiction

Addicted to that white powder

Getting rid of the evidence

A new devil…

Preorders begin for my novel

I’m happy to announce…

Thank you for your response. ✨

So my neighbor is an alligator

Prepping for Print

Good news for everyone who keeps asking!

When can I buy it?

Avengers to the Rescue

Icons and Representation: An Arizona Avenger’s Journey

Representation Matters

Altruism and Iconography

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Waiting for Godot…err Diana

How to Square Your Grouper – A June Nash Misventure, Book 2

This weeks trip down memory lane:

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The Rum is for Research

You can’t go home again…

Share this:

Addicted to that white powder

Getting rid of the evidence

A new devil…

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I’m happy to announce…

Thank you for your response. ✨

Share this:

Share this:

Good news for everyone who keeps asking!

When can I buy it?

Share this:

Icons and Representation: An Arizona Avenger’s Journey

Representation Matters

Altruism and Iconography

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